The Kult of Kebab
The Kult of Kebab is an inter-faction cult that worships the Holy Kebabs. It was founded my Mr_Dalek of Anfalas and Currently has 15 members. Its Primary Headquarters are in Minas Morthil.
Mr. Eregnir Dalek, a half elf, first encountered Kebab wile growing up in Mirkwood. A merchant from the distant lands of Near Harad got into the city to sell the treasures of the south. This Haradhrim dropped his bag of stuff and ran from the guards so Mr. Dalek picked up the bag and ate a kebab. After eating the Kebab he new he wanted more so he purchased a Kebab stand a started making Kebab. He moved to Lebennin, leaving his kebab stand behind. After living in his little farmhouse for a small amount of time eating only bread and no kebab, he started missing kebab. He soon moved to the small town of Minas Morthil where he where he was welcomed by it's inhabitants. He purchased another kebab stand and opened a restaurant known as Mr. Dalek's Bacon Shack. One day when walking up to his castle, he heard a banging at the gate. He walked over to it and saw that Gandalf was standing there. Gandalf informed Mr. Dalek about the holiness of kebab, and how he must save the world from separation and hatred. After being spoken to by Gandalf, he said worship the holy kebab. Moose and Dalek work hard to spread kebab around Middle Earth. He get loads of people to join it and hopes more will.
Kitab of Kebab: The Kult's Beliefs
Our untrue but believed creation story
One day Eru Iluvatar got bored and thought “Why don’t I create a world so I can get out of my mom's basement. So he thought really hard and Valar jumped out of his head. Then he created Arda, with 4 continents. Middle Earth, the important one. Aman, the lame Elf one. And Least importantly 2 other ones. Then he created Elves, wize peeps who didn’t really do anything until the last minute because they had to follow teh musix of Adra. Later ones of his friends who also lived in their mom’s basement created Dwarves because he was bored and wanted to. So Eru was like stupid Dwarves, I would kill them if I didn’t love facial hair. So the Eru’s other friend who also popped from his head made Orcs, who didn’t get along with the rest. So they had some bar fitez but in the end it was all good. Then Eru created Men, free thinkers and independent peepz. They were and always will be teh master memerz.
One day Bat of Dol Amroth was walking around and he tripped on a giant rock Eru dropped from his cloud mansion. Bat picked up the stone. It said 11 Kebabments at the top. Below that it listed 11 things.
- Thou shalt not cram for it is not gut
- Thou shalt not eat or consume cram
- Thou shalt not make cram
- Thou shalt not use camels for anything but their true purpose: pets and mounts
- Thou shalt not digest cram
- Kebab heals sickness better than cram
- Do not worship cram, as it is truly evil
- Do not worship hats, or any other form of headwear, as it is bad for your health
- Acknowledge and worship Eru Iluvatar, creator of Arda and first Kebaber
- Murder is only okay if you murder someone against the Kult tbh, but don’t kill everyone you see tbh.
- Be memey, alway meme, never not be a memer
Diskebabulationz: Teh Prophecy of Teh Future
In the final hour of the War of the Ring, 2 armies will appear. An army of Orcs and Men of Dankness fighting for Sauron. And an army of Men of Light and Northsmen fighting against Sauron. These two armies would clash and fight down to last man, but right before they collide, a bright light appears. Flying down comes Eru Iluvatar himself, holding a kebab stand.
“There will be no more good, and no more evil. All shall unite under the power of kebab. All shall be equal and all shall be free. All wars will end, and everyone will work together to help the world get greater, better, and superior. Today, all life, is going to rule, as all life will be equal.” Iluvatar said.
Then the Valar appeared. All the Orcs and men dropped their swords and spears and shields and were handed a kebab by Bat himself. The Black Gates and Rammas Echor crumbled as the light of Eru brought freedom to all. Then kebab rained from the sky. The sun was blotted out for a few seconds from all the kebab. And the men and Orc and Elves of Middle Earth feasted on the kebab, the holy kebab, as it was great and amazing. Orcs got together a built themselves great cities full of kebab. Men maintained their cities with the powers of kebab.
Soon, all hate and wars ended and peace finally occurred in Arda, and no one had to be eliminated for it to happen. Carl the hat burned on his stand and withered. Cram burned and died. Every camel worshipper repented or was sent to live with Melkor in his new apartment (the worst torcher.) The seal on Aman was broken and all people could go to Aman. The two trees reappeared but the sun remained. The Pelori Mountains collapsed and Numenor rose from the sea. Nothing bad ever happened again, and Eru Iluvatar got a raise.
The Kouncil of Kebab:
Head Evil Kebaber:
KRYED (Banned looking for replacement)
GandalfManyColor (jay_de_haan) (Banned)
Ging (forgot whole IGN)
Joining the Kult
To join the Kult you must love Kebab, and ask Mr_Dalek if you can join. Then go to the Ras Morthil waypoint in the south western White Mountains. Mr_Dalek will give you a small interview, then conduct the ceremony. There you will be initiated in the Kebab Headquarters. You will receive 2 kebab stands during the ceremony (you can pay 1 stack of kebab for another stand.
Rules of Kebab
All players are required to do some things. They must not wear Silver trimmed dwarven armour if they are still at the rank of Kebabling (unless it is there faction armour, then they just can't wear it in any ceremonies.) They must love Kebab. They must not disrespect other factions. They must eat Kebab.
In order to get promoted to the Kounsel of Kebab you must give 15 stacks of kebab or 2 mithril ingots. The price will go up the more people join.